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Veterinary Practice News Editorial Blog:
June 13, 2011
Creative Crooks
Phil Zeltzman, DVM, Dipl. ACVS
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Some stories told by some colleagues are simply amazing.
Note: What follows is not a guide to being a creative crook, but a gentle warning for colleagues.
Embezzlement stories are what I am referring to. Pop quiz: Have you ever made copies at work for personal use? Have you ever “forgotten” a pen or a highlighter in your scrub pocket and taken it home? Well, is that money taken away from the clinic or not? Is that embezzlement?
Then, of course, true embezzlement may mean taking cash out of the drawer. In a not-so-well-managed practice (or too trustful), nobody may immediately notice a few bills missing here and there.
Another easy way to rob from a clinic is to “borrow” medications. What’s the big deal? A few vaccine vials, ear drops, a few tablets here and there…A colleague even told me the story of the disappearance of entire food bags!
Surely, embezzlement can take many, many other forms.
A pretty sophisticated way to rob from an employer, confessed by a colleague, blew my mind.
Imagine this scenario. Fluffy has bladder stones and one stubborn urethral stone that causes a urinary obstruction. Dr. Rob Err (sorry, I know, that was an easy one), an overall good vet who has been working for the same employer, Dr. Green, for five years, discusses the estimate with the owner.
Dr. Err: “So with everything I just mentioned, your total cost will be about $1,500.”
Owner: “Gee Doc, there is no way I can afford this. You know I’m not rich, I’m just a plumber. So how can I help Fluffy?”
Dr. Err: “Well, we don’t do payment plans here, but there is a credit plan you can apply for.”
Owner: “Yeah, I doubt I will qualify for it, my credit history is not really great. So how can I help Fluffy?”
Dr. Err: “I’m running out of options, sir. Now you said you’re a plumber, right?”
Owner: “Yes, I did. Do you need work done around the clinic?”
Dr. Err: “I’m not sure about the clinic, but we’re remodeling our kitchen at home, so I’m wondering if we can help each other here.”
Owner: “What do you mean, Doc?”
Dr. Err: “Well, let’s say I only charge you $1,000 for the surgery, could you afford that? And then, maybe you could help me out with my remodeling project. Of course, this little agreement would have to stay between us, if you understand what I mean.”
Owner: “I understand, son, I understand. I can probably do $1,000. When can you do the surgery on my Fluffy?”
Clearly, this is a win-win-win situation: Fluffy wins, his owner wins, and our buddy Rob wins. But the clinic is out $500. This happens to be a true story. This is embezzlement.
Unfortunately, our buddy Rob got caught in the act. He doesn’t work for Dr. Green anymore.
Dr. Phil Zeltzman is a mobile, board-certified surgeon in Allentown, PA. His website is www.DrPhilZeltzman.com. He is the co-author of “Walk a Hound, Lose a Pound: How You and Your Dog Can Lose Weight, Stay Fit, and Have Fun Together (Purdue University Press).”
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