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Skeletons in the Closet

Katherine Dobbs, RVT, CVPM, PHR

Call me crazy, but even though we already had 11 pets in the house (1 dog, 4 cats, 2 rabbits, a guinea pig, a dwarf hamster, and two fish.) we were on the lookout for another dog to join us, to make a nice even dozen! No, really we were looking for a companion for our daughter, for therapeutic reasons.

After eliminating the idea of getting a big dog (our current dog is a 16-pound Cavalier King Charles Spaniel), we focused on getting something around that size again. I began the hunt by hopping on PetFinder and checking out the choices. One little girl struck me the minute I saw her picture: A little red furry thing they were calling a Pomeranian mix, with the name of Georgia. I followed her story to the rescue group here in Wisconsin that was fostering Georgia, and came to find out that 1) she was still available, 2) she actually came from Kentucky, and 3) she loved kids and didn’t mind other dogs and cats. Well, we were smitten, and hurriedly turned in our adoption application and waited.

Georgia came the next weekend, and we immediately fell in love. Shy at moments, boisterous at others, she is just the perfect little addition to the family. She’ll bark like crazy at dogs on the TV, but will lie quietly beside our daughter Katie as she sleeps at night, one of the most important prerequisites.

But her good manners in general hide something a little more mysterious, we think. We believe that Georgia has some skeletons in her closet and they aren’t very nice skeletons either. If she hears us fuss at our other dog, Joy, she cowers and trembles. When we go to put on her harness for a walk, she backs away from our touch. But she never reacts with aggression, just timidity. We wonder: Who could have hurt such a sweet little girl and caused such a fearful gut reaction?

I’ve often had this same thought about team members in the veterinary practice who I’ve worked beside and managed. Just like Georgia, we are all conditioned over time by our environment. We are taught to trust some, fear others, and avoid certain situations altogether. When we are faced with a team member’s unusual reaction, at least in our opinion, we have no idea what has created that reaction. The employee who cries at any mention of a problem in his or her performance, the associate who is quick to anger in frustrating situations, the practice owner who has had to claw and scratch his or her way to the top.

We cannot know what has conditioned them to react the way they do, neither should we try, but we should be mindful that 99 percent of the time it has nothing to do with us. Yes, we can learn to approach people in a way that works better for that individual, and our attitude is important in soliciting the reaction we want. But truthfully we cannot undo the 20, 30, 40 years or more of conditioning that has created that person standing in front of us.

So we do the best we can, give them the benefit of the doubt, and know that our skeletons pop out of our closet every so often as well…and we would like the opportunity to push them back in before going back to the task at hand.

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