The Onion presents ‘tips for choosing the right veterinarian’

It may be satire, but a couple of these tips are actually practical

The Onion, dubbed “America’s Finest News Source,” (and it’s most satirical), has released their video “Tips For Choosing The Right Veterinarian.” The tips are pretty funny, but oddly enough, actually pretty practical, if you look at them in a certain light. For example:

Tip No. 1: Do your research to ensure the facility is open during the hours when your pet typically swallows an entire tube of tennis balls.

It’s a good idea to tell your clients about who to contact in an emergency, in case their dog DOES eat an entire tube of tennis balls. (We wouldn’t put it past dogs; just look at our 2016 “They Ate What?!” X-ray Contest.) While you’re at it, encourage your clients to sign up for pet insurance, so when—not if, let’s be real—their dog does eat the tube, they can get reimbursed for most of the bill.

Tip No. 3.: Make sure the vet demonstrates a keen interest in your pet. If they spend most of the appointment asking about your skin, this could indicate you’ve entered a dermatologist’s office.

The Onion jests here… But sometimes people forget veterinarians and vet techs are animal doctors/nurses,  not human ones. Case in point? This story from our article, “Vet Clients Say the Darndest Things“:

“A gentleman brought in an older Basset hound one day, and he was in his overalls, boots and no shirt. He wanted her to be checked for ticks, but as I was bringing her into the back, he followed, asking if I could check him for ticks, too. I was mortified, and the only polite thing I could think of saying is that because we’re a veterinary clinic, we treat things with tails, so unfortunately I couldn’t help.”

Tip No. 5: It’s important to note the office’s proximity to an ice cream parlor in the event that you have to soothe a sobbing child.

… OK, let’s be honest: No one really likes screaming, crying or hyperactive children in the office lobby. Go get the kids some ice cream.

So good job, Onion! Like most of your satirical pieces, there’s a kernel of truth in them.

What tips would you add to this video? Let us know in the comments.

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