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Vet Confessions: I Lied When a Pet Died

What Marty Becker, DVM, learned from a tragic mistake.

kamil macniak/shutterstock

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Along with my passionate belief in the “good” of veterinary medicine, I’ve shared with you in this column my faith in God, and many colleagues responded with their own testimonies.

Now it’s time for a confession.

While many times in the past I’ve asked God for forgiveness for my sins and have been very open with my family and friends about egregious fraternity pranks, too many times drinking and driving when younger, and not being respectful enough of women when I was in “lust” and not in “love,” I’ve never opened up about the serious mistakes in my veterinary past. Some deadly.

One of the most, if not the most popular column I’ve ever written for Veterinary Economics was titled “My Biggest Practice Mistakes … and the Lessons I Learned.” I literally had hundreds of colleagues over the years come up to me and tell me how they appreciated my honesty in that piece, that it was good to admit mistakes rather than always pretend as a communicator/ expert that your, pardon, “feces don’t stink.” They said they felt better about themselves, their careers and more open to admit mistakes. 

But there was one big mistake I omitted because, at the time, I didn’t have the courage to put it out in the sunlight. I killed a dog because of an avoidable mistake and then lied about it. Then I lied again. That lie has rotted inside me for over 30 years.

I was about 30 years old at the time and out of veterinary school about four years. My colleague and partner Dr. Bill Strobel and I owned two very busy veterinary hospitals in Twin Falls, Idaho. Since I’ve tried to keep this hidden under a callus, I’m unsure of the exact names here, but I seem to remember it was Mrs. Dalton, a younger widow with a beautiful Pekingese named Bingo.

I remember the circumstances of my mistake and cover-up, however, very well.

Bingo was in for what we would have called a routine spay. Our typical spay at Twin Falls Veterinary Hospital in1985 was knocking dogs out with sodium thiopental, intubating and then putting on metofane. Then they were put on a stainless steel, V-shaped tray and crosstied on the table.

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No pre-surgical blood screens, no patient warming and, worst of all, no patient monitoring. It sounds so primitive, even barbaric today, but that was the standard.

This was a long-established, very busy practice, and even with only a few years of practice, I was very proficient on “spay day,” doing five to 10 surgeries. Even with the quality of care at the time and using products that certainly aren’t as safe as those we use today, almost all routine surgeries were just that. In. Done. Out.

But this was not the case with Bingo. She was overweight, and her respiration was compromised. That would have put her at greater risk, but this isn’t what caused her death. I overdosed her.

I don’t know what I was thinking, or not thinking, but I gave her a dose of barbiturate for a dog three times her size. She crashed, I panicked, we failed to revive this precious dog and she died. No one but me knew I’d made this mistake.

I remember feeling flushed with panic and sadness, but rather than doing the right thing and telling the owner about my mistake, I made up a story about how Bingo probably had an undiagnosed kidney or liver problem that had caused her to react to the anesthetic in this way. I had tears in my eyes to match the real ones in hers, and Bingo’s owner said that it was OK. “God’s terms.”

She asked me if I would take care of the body in a respectful way, and I said that I would, but I didn’t. I told her that I’d bury the dog in the orchard on my farm, but I didn’t. The farm and orchard were real, but my word wasn’t.

Bingo went with all the other pets in the hospital freezer to be commercially disposed of (no crematories at the time). I know what you’re thinking: Sickening. Unfathomable. Unforgivable.

Going “Cold Case” meets “C.S.I.” on Marty’s brain and integrity, I don’t have a clue why I did that heinous series of actions and lies. But soon it was buried behind the hectic realities of day-to-day practice, and I never spoke of it to anyone, until now. This would be a sad enough way to close this story, but I know that I most certainly had a hand in other pets’ deaths that could have been avoided.

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What?

I know there were almost certainly dozens of pets in my earliest years of practice that might have been cured or successfully treated if I had done one or more of the following:

  • Rounds. What if I had a pet where I wasn’t sure of the diagnosis or that the treatment plan wasn’t working and the pet was failing and I didn’t ask a colleague for a second opinion? 
  • Referrals. We were hesitant to refer patients to other veterinary hospitals or to the veterinary school because we wanted to keep the patient and profits in-house. 

This is not just a mea culpa later in life. I learned a valuable lesson, and after that incident there have been plenty of times I screwed up, but told the truth (missed something on the radiographs, misinterpreted the lab work, misdiagnosed, chose the wrong medication to start out with, tried to spay a tom cat).

I can almost split my career into thirds. The first third was about me, my skills and my business. The middle third started my focus on “we,” as in our skills, our commitment and our passion for helping the pet be optimally healthy. It included robust second teamwork on cases, routine referrals and a commitment to always be honest about mistakes.

The last third, and going forward, is about looking after both the pet and the pet owner's physical and emotional well-being.

Pet owners often say that they wish their veterinarian were their doctors, and we are happy that we don’t have the paperwork or oversight that human medicine requires. But, on the flip side, veterinary medicine doesn’t feature transparent body bags, and unexplained deaths don’t typically have review. (Some corporate practices have inside review, but I’m not aware of any with outside review.) So it’s easy to get away with a mistake, known or unknown.

Looking to the future, I continue to proudly practice in the greatest profession on earth. I’ve asked for and received forgiveness. I use Bingo and other instances in the past where I didn’t put the pet’s best interests first to fuel a near evangelical mission to do the right thing.

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Have you hidden anything from your past? 

Checks and Balances in Human Medicine

Twin Falls Veterinary Hospital suffered a fire in the early 1990s that destroyed most of its records. I was no longer a partner in the practice at the time of the fire.

In writing the book “The Healing Power of Pets,” I met back in southern Idaho with several members of my old hospital team, and nobody could remember the pet or the pet owner described above.

But I remembered, and so did God.

I recently had knee surgery, and the degree of checks and balances was amazing. The nurse, the anesthetist, the scrub nurse and the orthopedic surgeon all asked me what surgery I was in for and what exactly was being operated on.

I’d answer, "arthroscopic surgery on the medial meniscus of my left knee." The individuals who verified their inquiries wrote their initials in indelible marker above my kneecap.

If something avoidable went wrong with my surgery, from the correct limb and correct procedure to the right anesthetic dose and possible complications (asked multiple times about having motion sickness, allergies to medications, etc.) they would help in determining what happened.

Of course, veterinary medicine doesn’t have this option.

While I’m not petitioning for added layers of scrutiny and review, it does put the entire onus for owning up to mistakes on each of us. That’s a big burden to carry; maybe too big.

Originally published in the February 2016 issue of Veterinary Practice News. Did you enjoy this article? Then subscribe today! 

15 thoughts on “Vet Confessions: I Lied When a Pet Died

  1. My dog died at vet. They didn’t check him out.. I don’t believe the vet butci ain’t fighting.. People make medical mistakes. U already have punished yourself long enough.. I am mad at times but I can’t bring Bruno back..

  2. I am in the process of a long, draining disciplinary board procedure against the unskilled, arrogant b**** who decided to butcher up my dog without fessing up to it and it is scumbags like this piece of shit and yourself that make me determined to see this through.

  3. the only reason you have written this article is for pure selfish reasons as to try and unburden your soul. Well as a pet owner of 2 cats who have died whilst in the care of vets, who I suspect made negligent errors such as yours causing their death and also lied to cover it up. I hope your soul remains heavy with the burden of your behaviours your entire life because I can guarantee that the owners of those animals you killed will be burdened with lifelong sadness and constant thoughts of what if’s and if only’s because of the outcome of your behaviour-it is cruel, disgusting and unacceptable, you should not be in the veterinary profession.

    1. Exactly.You have worded it a lot more sophisticated than I have, but I wholeheartedly agree.
      Just imagine: ‘Because of your dead pet, I am now a better veterinarian.’ Disgusting indeed.

  4. Whenever I go online for advice in treating a pet, and the article (invariably) resorts to “consult your veterinarian” as the “conclusive premise,” I seethe with rage. Vets by-and-large are extremely fallible, extremely distracted, accident-prone, oftentimes apathetic individuals who will cheerfully gouge and take you and your pet for a ride. If you’re lucky you might know one of the decent ones (it’s probably like one “real pro” within a 100 square-mile radius even in population-dense areas).

  5. My dog just died at a vet clinic during a chest x ray. Hillside Animal hospital in Floyd’s knobs Indiana. The tech Kelsey took him back for an x ray and brought him back out to me with eyes open but totally unresponsive them lied about it Nd said he was brought back to me fine and crashed in the room later. The vet had told me he had a grade 4 heart murmur but them changed the paperwork I asked for to say it was a grade 5 to 6 to help cover their story. I don’t know what happened in the minutes he was out of my sight but I know it was traumatic enough to cause his death. Honestly I hope they both rot in hell, the tech and th ECB vet.

  6. Hello my dog also die at the vet . I believe she was over dose. She was 5 lb . The Dr told me she had a heart attack . I believe she wasn’t being monitor very well. Its was as if it was just another dog going under the knife. Am keep betting my self up about it. How I should of never taken her to get spayed.

  7. My Emotional Support dog, and rare bloodline ‘PR UKC stud dog died less than a year ago, due to my trusted Vet’s negligence and mistakes. I had done almost $700 in tests plus 4 medications of which only 1 may have actually been needed, the antibiotic. The medications given were based on mixed up x-rays and records in his busy clinic. I had to sit on my livingroom floor, with my leg off as I am disabled, while my baby boy screamed and shot blood out of his behind and mouth for 2 and 1/12 hours until he passed away. I attempted to get him back to my trusted Vet several times over that week and a half because I felt he was getting worse, not better, with the medications, and was denied because he was just too busy. There is much more to this story, but I will spare the gory details, but after he died, and we requested his record and the record of another rare female dogs that also died under his care 3 years earlier, we discovered that the records were missing most everything from that day, were not even the same stuff he had shown us the day the testing was done, and the x-rays were not even a male dog, let alone OUR dog, and they lost a sample of fluid they extracted from his prostate. He had his Techs do all the testing and x-rays, and he never actually examined our dog. We filed a complaint with our local Veterinary Board, who found him guilty of violating their rules. but could not determine what went wrong due to the horrible record keeping. So they offered him a settlement with a slap on the hand and a few extra hours of record keeping classes. I knew they wouldn’t do much, if anything, as the Vet Boards dismiss just about every case they get, so I had consulted an attorney who took the case with no money up front. We are now in the middle of this horrible law suit, where I am having to relive this over and over again. He is arrogantly fighting this, even though he knows he was wrong. We have a huge amount of evidence, but all too often these Vets get away with these things. It has destroyed me completely, as I lost my best friend and companion, that since I’m disabled and mostly housebound, I spend all my time with. He made all the horrible things in my life better, and now he is gone, untimely. I think it is quite noble of you to admit you did these things, and you are turning to God for forgiveness. And if you truly are remorseful for your actions, He does forgive you. I only wish more Vets were like you, and willing to admit when they make such deadly mistakes. We are close to our pets, like family. But when a person is so close that they depend on that pet for emotional support and companionship, as well as monetarily, it is life changing. Maybe you can help redeem yourself by helping to get legislation passed that hold Veterinarians more accountable, and makes pets more than just another animal. I thank you for your candor, and pray you find peace within yourself. God Bless You

    1. Do you know about this group? It’s new. It’s call Joey’s Legacy VetMal victims on Facebook. I have just experienced a bad vet killing my healthy 6 year old cat who just went in for a bath with what was supposed to be light sedation. The pain and devastation is indescribable. This is a great group.

  8. I still can’t believe it happened. The unthinkable happened for me and my precious Missy on October 15 , 2018. And I’m still in shock. And I’m still so angry. And I still miss her constantly and think about her all the time. I don’t want to not think of her. I don’t want to not think about her and then one day find the details I know of her have faded as it does in our brains when much time goes by. I stopped letting my cats free roam 10 years ago and now they live to old age. Missy was only 6 years old and very healthy. We had many years left. How could this have happened? I still can’t fathom HOW they were so careless and negligent and killed her. She was there less than 2 hours for a bath with light sedation. When the phone rang I thought wow that was fast and anticipated them telling me I could come pick her up. But that’s not what they said. HOW could this happen??? I still feel like I’m in a horrible dream. I want to go down there and scream at the top of my lungs. I want to ask him how could you do this? I want to tell everyone never to go there because it’s not safe. If I could do it again I would never take her there. I would be so careful even when it’s just a bath. I am sooo sorry my most beloved Missy, truly you are the very best cat I have ever had. I desperately miss you next to me every single night. I cry constantly thinking of what you went through. How could this happen? Yes I will never ever be the same.Apaul Redding I have asked God to just let me die give me a terminal illness whatever. It makes me not want to be in a world where this can happen, and for there to be no consequences for the vets that commit such acts is even more incomprehensible. I know this world is not fair. There are people and animals starving. There is suffering every second. A vet is supposed to improve your pet’s health and alleviate suffering, not kill them through gross negligence and then cover it up and try to blame it on your pet. With humans there are many systems in place to prevent human error and there is ZERO tolerance for NEGLIGENCE. And there are consequences when it does occur so that also serves as a deterrent. Vets have much education and we pay them to help our pets not kill them. There are wonderful vets out there. The bad actors, as Scott calls them, should not be allowed to continue to be vets when they refuse to admit fault and change their act. Obviously they don’t care and are in the profession for the wrong reasons.Because I’m a nurse and used to work for vets long ago and because I rushed down there right in the middle of it I know what happened. Gross negligence. I have an attorney who is wonderful. But in Alabama not much happens but I will do whatever I can so her death is not in total vein. I am filing a complaint with the vet board too. Anyone going through this check on Facebook Joey’s Legacy VetMal Victims. As for the vet that wrote this piece, it sounds like you eventually saw the light somewhat… why don’t you see the light fully and as part of your redemption push for Pets not to be viewed as just property in the eyes of the law???

  9. Thank you for your candor. Now, put your convictions where your mouth is and fight for laws that better protect pets (they should NOT be considered “property), and both laws and changes within the veterinary governing boards that protect those who just do not care. And you know as well as every one of those suffering people who have commented above that those vets exist.

  10. Marty, you didn’t explain why you added insult to injury by not fulfilling your promise to this poor woman that you were going to bury her dog on your property. Is it because you wanted to destroy evidence of your mistake? You just didn’t want a permanent reminder sitting in your yard of your f-up and your deceit. Once again, you think of your self first. Typical doctor. You ruined her life, then you piss on her by making a promise to her and not following through. You make a mistake, lie about it, lie about the burial, and then throw the dog into the garbage. Just despicable. It is because of vets like you that my wife and I have decided that we cannot rescue any more pets, because of the physical and emotional damage vets have caused us by their lying, duplicity, ineptitude and errors. Not to mention their lack of empathy. The sad thing is that we rescue pets, we don’t buy them. So there will be animals in our local pound that will be put down because of what veterinarians like you have done to us. The only reason why you are coming clean now is because you are independently wealthy and have the luxury to be able to confess without consequences. This article is all about the “great Marty Becker” and trying to ameliorate your guilt. I shouldn’t be surprised that the only positive comments about your confession that you’ve received over the years come from other vets. From our experience, vets have very little empathy for patients and their owners. The only empathy they have is for other vets. I hope and pray that you will have this guilt weighing on you forever. Because the tragedies that have been beset on us by veterinarians will weigh on us forever. It has been a common thread in our experience that when vets make errors they then lie about it, which makes it even worse. Often those lies involve putting the blame on the owners. In graduate school, do veterinarians like you take a proseminar in deceit and self-preservation? Seems that way to me.

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